I’m Not Who They Want Me To Be

I think I’m just too independent. My parents raised my brothers and I to be mature, responsible adults. On our 12th birthday we got a shotgun and the responsibility of doing our own laundry. At about 14 (high school) I had to start buying all my own “good” clothes.  This was Mom’s way of teaching money management… or she just got tired of buying clothes…the second might be more accurate… Either way, we had “good” clothes and we had “work” clothes.

I married into a family that still expects complete loyalty from their grown children. What dad says goes, no questions ask. Looking back I’m so appreciative that my parents weren’t total control freaks, though growing up, of course I thought they were.

It’s hard to be the first in-law. Breaking the ice for every issue that comes along. I’ll give them credit for taking me under their wing as their own but over the last few years it’s gotten out of control. They are not my parents. I am not their daughter, nor am I the employee. Of course they are going to have higher expectations for their children, but the in-law is in a different category. Of course my parents have high expectations for me, but they would never force those on my husband or my sister-in-law. These two had completely different upbringings, it’s entirely unreasonable to expect them to understand or even live up to my parents’ every hope and dream.

Unfortunately that is my biggest struggle with farming. My in-laws have their hopes and dreams for their son and his family, despite who he married. Sometimes it feels like they will not rest until his personal life is exactly how they see fit and my work life is meeting every one of their expectations. Too bad I have so much fire in my bones and determination in my veins to live my life and raise my children how I see fit. I try to be understanding, yet when it comes down to it, I’m not my mother in-law. They can not force me to be her. I have to live my own life and go my own way.


Below is a podcast. I usually explain everything a little more in my podcast, and they are more fun! Enjoy!